What kind of a relationship do you have with yourself? It's a weird question to ask and yet for many people that I meet in Alexander class the relationship that they make with themselves is marked with negative internal dialogue. I was discussing this with a student today after the concept of negative self speak was raised and we were talking about all the influences that ask you to consider that you aren't enough. Your not enough if you don't use this hair spray. You're not enough unless you have a six-pack.
You're a loser if you don't have an expensive car and an expensive house. You're only OK if you're a winner. That's the pitch that's thrown at us day after day and it must work because so many advertisers use that strategy. You'll be OK when you drink this product. You'll be OK when you look like this. The underlying message is that you are fundamentally not OK .Often, even when you use the product, the underlying feeling is that you're still not OK. As if buying some product is going to change who you are and how you feel.-usually the advertisers have lied. The deodorant won't get you the girl, eating the chips are not fun, the world is not happier because you bought a soft drink.
Sometimes people actually DO feel good about themselves because they've got a great car or a big house or lots of wealth but then it's terrible when their car is stolen or they lose their wealth-unless they've invested in themselves as well.
There are books and seminars and videos and blogs that suggest the power of positive thinking is the way to go. Norman Vincent Peale, Dale Carnegie, Anthony Robbins and the like. I find that this kind of approach imposes a framework that's pretty rigid. I've tried to be positive but generally it feels false, it's like I'm forcing this positive relationship with myself rather than it being an organic reflection of who I am. I've tried affirmation but eventually there's a part of me that just thinks it's all crap and then I've blown it and have to start again. Which isn't to say that affirmation techniques don't work- it's just that my experience is that they take a lot of maintenance.
I think that Alexander Technique isn't about positive thinking. It's about preventing the old negative habit and then allowing my body and mind to cooperate through an indirect process of thinking through a movement.Your mind and body work together on the process of achievment rather than on the goal of achievment.
I like the idea of my mind and body cooperating-beginning to work as one to achieve a positive outcome. It's strange because when I ask my mind and body to cooperate, the outcome usually achieves itself. Sometimes that's a big surprise. There's a by-product to this cooperation, as well. I have a profound sense of being enough. I suppose that's because my body and mind have cooperated and worked as well as they can together in this moment. It's a nice relationship.
Come and do some Alexander Technique with me some time. Click on this link to get you to my web page.
I appreciate your viewpoint and think there is a lot of common sense here. Too often we are asked to achieve what in reality is unachievable ... at least without a lot of effort, financial backing, ongoing support etc..
ReplyDeleteIt has become expected that we "must" be the best, earn a lot, travel etc., and anything less implies we have not played the game, reached our potential etc. But there not every person can reach the top and stay there .. there is much to be said for pausing in the moment to enjoy what is around us, to reflect on what we can offer to those around us while appreciating their value to us.
If we are faced with job loss, or things we could not for-see this does not make us less of a person. All too often life throws at us uncertainty and things that come from left field. We can still walk tall and be compassionate and generous with our support for others. Our posture can then reflect that we can be relaxed yet conscious of maintaining body movement that minimises strain and injury